John speaks from my heart

"Ok, so flower power didn't work. So what? We start again." - John Lennon

This is how I feel this Christmas break. Maybe peace, love and happiness isn't working as an approach in my classroom, but whatever it takes, these kids are going to learn this semester.

CHRISTMAS BREAK YOU ARE FINALLY HERE

Everything I'm totally excited about in the next two weeks:
- the semester is OVER!
- going back home for the holidays
- getting to visit Ian's family for New Year's
- getting to see friends back in the LO :)
- NO MORE 8TH GRADERS!!!
- getting to watch hockey again
- did I mention the lack of 8th graders??
- someone actually listened to my complaint, and I'm FINALLY getting some Read 180 PD when I get back

Things I am NOT excited about:
Baton Rouge high: in the 70s VS. :
- Glen Burnie high: in the low 50s
- Western PA high: tundra.

Yeah, I miss this

I'm teaching the theme, for the story we're currently reading, 'you don't know what you have until it's gone.'

Let me make a text-to-self connection:
I MISS FINALS WEEK!! Yes, I miss working at the library until 3am, and walking home in the freezing cold. I miss staying up all night, cramming in everything at the last minute - 10+ page papers, etc. DONUT HEAVEN, late nights with my sisters, delirious lack-of-sleep-induced conversations (writing a paper about the Kosovo war - "ooh! I think I'm going to add the Beach Boys song in here. you know the one? 'Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya... down to Kosovo...' Wait, that's totally not it, is it?"), did I mention late nights at the library, the looks of understanding between two people who have been up for 24+ hours straight walking into an 8am final, and the sharing the sheet enjoyment of finally being DONE.

Most of all, I miss all those people to whom this post will only make any sense.

Like or as?

Ok, so maybe my life's vocation is not being a teacher, but I should definitely go into the profession of professional lesson planning. If my students weren't such little monsters sometimes, they would have so much fun in my class!

Like tomorrow this is the activity we're using to learn about similies:

I have a series of 6 really short poems. Each poem has at least one simile in it. I'm going to pass out the first poem to all the students. They have to identify the simile and tell me what two things are being compared. Once they finish, they bring it up to the front of the class, I check it and give them the next poem. The person who finishes all of them first and correctly gets a prize.

Story Elements: The Musical

http://flocabulary.com/fivethings/

WHYYYYYY DID I NOT FIND THIS VIDEO AT THE BEGINNING OF MY UNIT!?!?!

Oh well, good thing I'm doing a story elements wrap-up tomorrow for the short story we're reading. Between this video and the two songs I'm playing to describe the themes of the story, tomorrow is going to be a very musical day!

Snow lies

This is how ridiculous my students are:

They wanted to listen to this song that I'm saving for my lesson on theme on Monday. I told them no, I'm saving it for Monday, you can hear it then. One of my students then said to me with as much attitude she could muster, 'we're not even going to be here Monday because it's going to snow and they'll shut school down.' Although I know how ridiculous this statement is, I humored her saying, 'Ok, we'll listen to it on Tuesday then.' To which she replied, 'we're not going to be here Tuesday either because school will still be closed because of snow.' Regardless of what I said about the weather forecast, she was obnoxiously insistent that it was going to rain on Sunday (which is true) and turn into snow Monday night.

By the way, the high for Monday: 68. The low? 42. 10 degrees above freezing.

Sometimes my students seriously make me want to pull my hair out.

I already miss the joys of sleeping in

I keep looking forward to the day that school is cancelled or at least delayed because it is "too cold.". Unfortunately today was not that day.

I mean I guess it is above freezing outside, but apparently it hasn't taken me very long to completely uncondition myself from 4 years of Loretto cold.

Wonderful Birthday Wishes

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MAMA!!!

I wish I could have been there to celebrate, what, it's 32 this year right?? :P

Hope you had a great day :)

Stuck between Thanksgiving and Christmas

I actually had a really really fantastic start to the beginning of the end of my break. So I'm sitting in BWI waiting for my flight to New Orleans and I'm observing this very strange and annoying phenomenon - every other person that walks up to my gate freaking already knows someone there are proceeds to exclaims "oh my gosh, what are you doing here? Why are you flying out of Baltimore?" Ironies upon dramatic ironies, I would find myself repeating this statement only moments later (ridiculously less annoying to those around me, of course). Of all people to come waltzing up to my gate was my suite mate from institute this summer - who is from Maine, by the way. Her family just so happened to decide to spend thanksgiving in Annapolis and so she was on the same flight back with me! It was truly fantastic catching up because she is one of those people who can put a smile on your face even when you're venting about the horrors of teaching. Even though she only teaches and lives one parish away from me, of course I never get to see her so it such a treat! It was also really nice to hear that I am not the only one burnt out/ feeling jaded/ feeling entirely under-supported in one way or the other, especially from someone not teaching horrid middle school children (she gets the little 2nd graders, although, bless her heart because I would take my 8th grader's insane behavior over a 2nd grader's neediness any day).

Beyond that wonderful encounter coming back to school has been... Well it's been like a middle schooler's first day back from a week long break, with less than a month until Christmas. I will admit though, it certainly was far from my worst day at school this year, so maybe my students are improving?

Field Trip

I saw a TFA friend's FB post today about taking her students on a field trip tomorrow, and all I could think was that I can barely take my students to the office to pick up a few boxes without any incidents. To bring them somewhere with normal members of society.... oh that would be quite the accomplishment.

Countdown

New poster for my classroom. Stole paint strips from Wal-Mart to make the numbers. 147 days is going to go by really fast!

A new principal

... or maybe two new principals??

So update at my school: the past 5 days have been without a principal because our has been "under investigation." It really sounds worse than it was - basically, they just had a bunch of people from the school board in and out of our school due to a heightened number of complaints not only about the principal not doing a great job, but about how everything at our school was basically falling apart; i.e. multiple fights in one day, six last Thursday to be exact, and two of those were before the first bell.

Just about every teacher was interviewed, all the school's dirty laundry was aired, everyone got their complaints out of their system and drumroll please...

Welcome Mr. Smith as our new principal. Yes, only 13 weeks after the start of a new school year with a new principal, we have another!

This new guy seems legit though. He works for the school board, was both a high school and middle school teacher as well as a principal before and from what I've gathered from other teachers, he was a really good principal. Hopefully things are going to be looking up from now on at, what my students have deemed, Glen Oaks FIGHTING Magnet High School. Oh, they are creative, aren't they?

only in Louisiana

The only highlight of the day:

bringing boudin for lunch and not only having my students know what it is, but asking me if they can have some, and then actually knowing how to eat it when I give them the rest.

A few randoms

The lows of the 10 day forecast in Baton Rouge are consistently higher than the highs in Loretto. Also, it's still consistently in the 70s-80s here every day.

I wore my hair down today. One of my students commented saying "Ms. G, you let your hair hang today." Another called me a hippie. An increased number of high school boys tried to get into my class today. My naturally wavy/curly white girl hair causes way too much attention.

Two of my girls in my first class got into a fight today after lunch. A couple of my students came back from lunch with pieces of one of the girl's weave. Yeah, they're suspended all next week. Unfortunately, they're both incredibly sweet girls.

8th graders really need to stay in middle school

Oh, the happenings at Glen Oaks High School. Let's see, yesterday morning we went on a lockdown. My class was brought out into the hallway, lined up, their shoes searched, all patted down while police officers and a police dog searched the classroom. I assume they were looking for drugs, hence the lock down. Of course it wasn't my precious 8th graders. But for once it actually wasn't the 8th graders.

I've started working half my planning period in the office. Yesterday I was calling parents to inform them that his or her precious son or daughter has missed or is close to missing more than the 10 state-law mandated days you can miss for school. It was incredibly awkward because when they wanted me to look up information or answer questions all I could tell them was that I was just a teacher doing grunt work for the front office, and they would have to call back later to the front office. But for real, it wasnt that bad and it got me out of my classroom for an hour. Today, something about the computer I was using wasn't working, so I just basically hung out in the front office for an hour. It's just such a nice atmosphere in there: almost everyone that works there is younger (in their early 30s), and all the students that come through are, for the most part, high schoolers. It makes me really wish I was teaching high school because they're actually like real human beings (whereas comparatively my 8th graders, I'm quite convinced, are certainly another mutant form of life). This is where I came to the final conclusion that 8th graders really don't belong here. A high school is for high schoolers, not semi-matured barely-teenagers. 8th graders have enough angst already - someone obviously was on some serious crack to think it was a good idea to move them from the top of the heirarchy (what they would be in middle school) to lower than the lowest in high school. Come on Glen Oaks, you should have known that was asking for a hormone raging-induced disaster.

On the up-side, my classroom is starting to look like a real classroom (at least in the physical sense). When I was at institute, they tell us all these things we need to do like making sure our classroom is nice and inviting and our walls are filled with student work. And I sat there through the whole thing and nodded my head in agreement, thinking "well, freaking duh. who wouldn't do that?" Somewhere between the unknown of the first days of school, the frustration and confusion before I got my program running, and the latest battle just to keep my head above water between getting my program to run properly and managing a classroom, I basically convinced myself that 8th graders are much to old for cutesy wall decorations, and could care less about anything on the walls. I convinced myself this despite the little voice in the back of my head screaming DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO ANYTHING THE WONDERFUL LAUREN MAYFIELD SAID TO YOU THIS SUMMER??? Yes, my CS was right because finally my walls are starting to take a little life and my students are noticing (They especially like the birthday calendar on the back wall and the fact that we celebrated our first birthdays of the year today!)

Here are some posters that have been giving my classroom a little life:

My classroom calendar / birthday calendar on which I put important dates and student birthdays.


I made this poster last night. A TFA alum / former Read 180 teacher gave me the idea to make a poster for each strategy we work on in class; this workshop is sequence of events. A main idea poster to come soon from last workshop.

I'm still struggling to keep my head above water with everything, but at least my classroom won't look like crap when I go down (as long as it happens before school hours, not after. After my students have gotten their hands on the classroom, it's another matter).

The horrors of administration

I absolutely cannot stand my administration. I already let EBR have it for the lack of support I have received as a new teacher, not only to Glen Oaks, but to the district too - I just get passively reprimanded whenever I fail to perform a task that was never sufficiently explained to me. But today I emailed my AP to ask for clarification on how to submit grades because when I tried to do it today, it didn't work correctly (and may I add, I was never shown or told how to do it in the first place - I was just yelled at when my progress report grades weren't submitted correctly). I received an email back this afternoon saying:

"Please ask a seasoned teacher to help you figure it out. Also, your duty post is the front office during 5th hour. Make sure you're there every day."

Yes, thank you for all your help. No one else in the 8th grade has my planning period, and I can't ask another teacher from another grade because they're all on a completely different schedule than us (another obviously well-thought-out plan by the administration). Also, um since when do I have duty during my one and only planning period? The whole time? Part of the time? Aren't you legally required to give me that planning period?

I am just so incredibly frustrated with this whole school.

My upcoming workshop

I'm going to post a very long/ reflective post later today regarding the completion of my first marking period and first Read 180 workshop, but I just couldn't wait to say this:

I'm currently planning my second workshop (basically a unit in Read 180) titled "When Disaster Strikes." I'm am so excited for this workshop! All the discussion questions are things like: "can you think of a way that natural disasters could affect a person's property or even their lives?" This is so PERFECT for my students because hello, we live in Louisiana - hurricane capital of the U.S.!! And I know a lot of my students have had extremely personal experiences with hurricanes: some of my students have moved to Baton Rouge from New Orleans after Katrina, and some of them were very affected by Gustav in 08 (actually, I know one of my students in particular had to live in a hotel for months after the storm because it completely destroyed her house).

Although this first workshop on immigration didn't end up too bad, and students seemed moderately engaged in it, it was difficult because I teach at a 99% black school (I have actually seen two white girls since I started, but they like appeared all of a sudden out of nowhere), and my students live in neighborhoods that are entirely black as well. Immigration wasn't exactly relevant to them. I just have such excitement and anticipation for this upcoming workshop because the topic (or at least how it's presented in the program) is just so much cooler than the one on immigration!

Fall break, where art thou?

I slept in this morning for the first time in weeks... until 8:30. Yes, because that's a whole hell of a lot better than 5 a.m. Only I'll be spending 75% of the day doing work for class tomorrow and getting my lessons together for the week. Back to reality. Is fall break here yet - it's only one day, but I'll take anything I can get.

If it looks like I'm avoiding writing about my classroom, you're entirely correct.

A side not about my wal-mart trip: in some strange way I miss that no matter what wal-mart in the area I went to at SFU - Ebensburg, Altoona or even Johnstown - you ALWAYS saw someone from school. Completely regardless of the time. Yes, even at 2 am. On a Wednesday.

Tonight, Wal-Mart brought a little SFU/Wal-Marty-style joy into my life. I found myself in line behind the literacy coach from my school, who I frequently talk to because we are in the same line of work. Turns out, our cashier graduated from Glen Oaks a few years ago. As we were chatting about the school now, I saw my MTLD whom I had just come from a meeting with, less than an hour before. And unlike western PA, this city has WAY more than one Wal-Mart, so it's not unlikely I can make a full shopping trip without seeing anyone I've ever seen before in my life. So thank you Wal-Mart, through your capitalist thievery and small business sucking goals, you brought a little smile to my life tonight.

Picture update

Just a few exciting things going on right now:

1. I finally hung most of the pictures in my apartment. It only took me almost two months, and a million changes of heart, but I finally decided on something. Yes, the top left in incomplete.. I'm working on it. Props to Ian for being wonderful and actually doing the hanging while I sat back and criticized (he's in the picture - he was posing, but I pretty much cropped him out).

2. I just bought two new ice packs at Wal-Mart that look like this. Yes, that's about as exciting as it gets.

Like the new blog look??

So this week, in perspective, has not been that bad at all! It might have to do with a ton of factors that have everything to do with Teach for America and nothing to do with Glen Oaks High School.

It also might have to do with the fact that this was only a 4-day week for me. Tuesday I went to New Orleans for a TFA "excellent school visit." I visited two K-8 schools that are extremely high performing, but still serve very low-income students.
The first... I have no words at how awesome this school was. It was like lovechild of the best of TFA and a Nazi youth group. Students actually were flapping their arm-wings in the morning announcements/ confidence buidling session to remind themselves to soar to great heights every day. Yes, 8th graders were doing this. I don't even want to think of what would come out of y 8th graders' mouths if someone even suggested they do this.
The second was a KIPP school, and it made me totally bitter I did not get placed in NOLA. I mean I knew KIPP schools were awesome, and consequently I am obliged to resent any corps members that are placed there, but WOW. 80% of the middle school is either a current corps member or an alum corps member! It looked like the school had hired a bunch of jcrew models to come to the school for the day. But hey, that's TFA. We don't just strive for excellence in the classroom, but we must look flawless doing it.

My NOLA visit was made even better because I went up the Monday night before to stay with Ian (a very wise decision because everyone else got stuck in traffic coming in Tuesday morning). After school on Tuesday, I also got to go out to eat with Ian for dinner. It was definitely a great addition to my week.

Last night, I had the oppoortunity to have dinner with the chair of TFA/SLA's board of directors. Yeah, being a corps member you get to meet some pretty awesome people (did I mention how I met the owner of all of the Waffle Houses in SLA once at a TFA event?). It was INCREDIBLE. Despite the fact that I didn't get home until 9:45 (wayyy past my bed time), it was just an incredibly enjoyable evening. I've learned the people that support TFA totally kick ass. We talked about the root social injustices our students face and near-death wildlife encounters all night. It rocked.

My classroom is starting to look up... I've been able to get some rotations in place in my class with my program. It's still a work in progress, but I guess it's better late than never. My MTLD got me in contact with an alumni from his corps that taught Read 180 during her commitment, and I'm going to meet up with her next week. She faced a lot of the same issues I did during her two years, and ended up producing incredible results and saw great growth in her classroom. I'm very excited to finally talk to someone who's really in the same boat as me, and can give me some productive support for my classroom.

This week wasn't horrid, but I am welcoming in the weekend with extremely open arms.

Oh weekend, where did you go?

I did not get hardly anything done that I wanted to this weekend regarding my big goal and vision. I did get my week almost all planned out though, which is a first of the year (now that I actually have Read 180 half up-and-running.) The weekend is just not nearly long enough to have time for me to unwind and forget about school, as well as revamp my entire classroom for the week.

The book I'm reading for my TFA book club (also the book I bought myself as a present when I was finally hired), Teach Like a Champion, gave me a few really good ideas that I can start implementing tomorrow. I'm going to go re-read the chapter on "positive framing" before bed because one of the big no-nos of this technique is asking students rhetorical questions like "I'm sorry Kenan, am I interrupting your conversation with my lesson or may I continue?" Apparently it makes a charade out of the student's behavior, and creates a negative attitude toward the student. Who knew? Well, there goes my main form of corrective action towards student talking. Sometimes I'm sure I'm way too sarcastic for my students' sensitive adolescent egos.

Ending on a good note

Today I told my last block class that they were my favorite. Not because they were the most well-behaved, but because their misbehavior amused me the most. They got a kick out of that. They also got a kick out of my lack of knowledge of "local Baton Rouge rap wanna-bes" as one of my students put it. I have never heard so many nonsense made-up names as when they were listing off artists to see if I knew any.

Who names a city after a red stick anyway?

Baton Rouge traffic SUCKS, just in case anyone had the pressing question "I wonder what traffic is like in the capital of Louisiana" on their mind recently.

Repairs - FINALLY

I have been bugging my school since mid-late August to fix my leaky air conditioning and fix my computers so I can start teaching my program. They finally got someone in my class to do both of these... on the same day.

Oh, and I think they expected me to still teach today... although my students couldn't stop being captivated by the men fixing the AC unit (and making all sorts of comments about why they have to be in here, and how bad it smells), the constant random students walking in and out with random computers for my room coming from I don't even know where, and the computer guy crawling around on my floor.

Despite all of this, my worst class of the day didn't even have these distractions. The only thing that was distracting them was their big mouths and lack of any self-discipline what-so-ever.

Things I hear in my classroom

"My hair ain't nappy - that's just how black, African American hair is."

"That bug ain't gonna sting you, it's gonna fart on you!"

Just some pleasurable moments from my last block class. They may lack the ability to keep quiet for more than one minute, but they sure don't lack personality.

Still alive and kicking-ish

Right now I'm looking out at a class of silent, mainly on-task students. I have a few sleeping in the back, but awake they would be nothing but trouble, so I'm not complaining. (Note: whenever my students go to sleep it usually comes after complaints that it is too cold in the room, which makes them sleepy. I have never heard of such a thing - going to sleep because it's too cold. Warm is supposed to make you sleepy. It's a strange phenomenon going on in my class).

This week so far has been touch-and-go. I have a week-long assignment for them they seem to be getting into a little. It's just that I'm so out of ideas to stall time until I can actually start Read 180. Yes you heard it, I still haven't started. I'm not really going to talk about it because I am beyond frustration and literally no longer have any words for it.

I had a wonderful weekend in New Orleans. I, of course, immensly enjoy the company I go there for, but I really realized how much I love that city. It has everything wonderful that I love about a city. I always long to get back there at the end of every week.

There really hasn't been anything new going on in the wonderful world of Glen Oaks. I do love my LPTP classes on Monday nights. It gives me a little dose of being a student that I miss so much. Other than that, I still have a dripping AC (at least my floor is dry now), students in my class that shouldn't be there, and only half working computers. Such is the life here, i guess.

Lessons from a rabbit

I'm going to write about last week at school because I have nothing good to say thus far about school this week, and I heard from a little rabbit named Thumper that if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all (note to self: show that clip in class sometime soon because it is a lesson my students are currently unable to grasp).

Read 180 is still not up and working. Because I got real tired to sitting around and waiting for the program to be ready for me to teach, I just decided to teach what I want. I got together with my MTLD and we came up with a week-long plan. I taught the short story "The Lottery," and did a compare/contrast lesson between the text of the story and a short movie I found. I was very hesitant going into the week because nothing seemed to interest my students, and I wasn't sure how they would be interested in a story that seemingly had nothing to do with their lives, and an extremely outdated movie. Let me just say, it was the best week thus far.

It took a few days to get them interested, but I think just the fact that they had structure and a consistent topic to work on for the whole week - it transformed (most of) my classes. By the end of the week, my students were discussing and debating the ending (some of them just really didn't want to believe that the stoning actually killed Tessie), and making connections to our society today. My first class has risen to become the most enjoyable part of my day.

We spent three days reading the story (I broke it into three parts for them), and watching the corresponding part of the movie. Then, we filled out a compare/contrast chart, focusing on the setting, characters, and plot (with a mini-lesson on plot). Thursday they split into groups and created one big compare/ contrast chart for the week. I was amazed by how many groups were on-task for the whole group time. Friday, they had a creative writing assignment where they had to choose to write a diary entry, newspaper article or monologue about the story. Once again, my first block blew me out of the water with the amount of creativity I got from them. I'm actually thinking of just pretending I only teach my first block because it would make getting up in the morning (still at 5 am, let me remind you) a whole lot easier.

It gave me a hopeful glance at what my class might be like once I actually have week-long lessons to teach. Of course, the rest of my classes completely shattered this hope this week, but I'll stop there because I'm getting into the dangerous realm Thumper once warned me about.

I'm going to enjoy my last few minutes of internet here at Starbucks before heading home to sleep off this horrid day (someone please start bugging me until I call the Cox guy to get me some internet).

Looking Up

Open house last night really rejuvinated me for teaching this year. Not a lot of parents came, but the ones that did were great to talk to, and I now really feel a sense of accountability to make sure they children succeed this year. No one even said anything about my dripping AC unit, the growing puddle in front of my classroom (due to the cracking trashcans using to collect the dripping water) or the mildew smell of my room (due to said puddle)!

Today I became an active employee of EBR schools. I can't tell you how excited I was to be able to call and finally recieve my employee number (I think they guy at the help desk thought I was mentally unsound to be teaching children with how excited I was). I now actually have access to my email account, I can stop logging on to the general new teacher server, and I can start saving stuff on my desktop! I feel like a real employee now.

Also, almost all my students have been tested as well. I started pulling them from their last block class to test, which turned out to be a double win for me: I had a silent room which they could take the test, and I gained some major points with the students for getting them out of class.

I lost a lot of really awesome students though because they tested too low to stay in my class. I'm really hoping Langugage Exclimation does them well, and it's strange how much I think I'm going to miss them in my class. I really never thought I'd say that about some of them.

Maybe this week will be it

Why did I decide to work with kids? Germs tend to stick to them like tongues stick to metal poles in the winter. And the worst part - THEY'RE NEVER THE ONES TO GET SICK. They just carry those germs around wherever they go, plotting the next teacher they're going to infect. Last week it was me. So it's not only another week of filling time before I can start Read 180, I have to do that with an awful head cold, too. And I guarantee they'll just sit in the back snickering, elated their evil plan to give me their sticky germs worked...

Ok, so I don't actually think they did this intentionally, but I am bitter because I know some of them had been especially sniffly last week. However, I met with my MTLD (manager of teacher & leadership development - yes, TFA has gotten out of control with their acronyms) this afternoon and we came up with a pretty good plan of action for a week of content-related and productive stalling time. Pair that with a re-vamped positive behavior reward system, I think I'm ready to show those snot-nosed children what I've got.

The first few weeks

This is nothing what I imagined. I don't know what I really was thinking it would be like. I guess, to be honest, I pictured myself coming into an out-of-control classroom, implementing a simple but strict classroom management plan and watching my students begin transforming into model students before my eyes.

Instead this is what I have: an absolutely out-of-control, over-sized classroom where half of my students have failed 8th grade at least once, four of my students are 16 and three will be by the end of the year. Despite my simple, but (kinda strict) classroom management policy, and admittedly shakey, but in-tact positive behavior plan, my classroom remains out-of-control. It's quite beyond what I could imagine an out-of-control classroom would be like. I haven't even been able to begin the program I am teaching because the school board's tech services wasn't aware there are now 8th graders at the high school I'm at and therefore, my students were not imported into the system so that I could give them the prilimenary test they need to determine whether or not they should even be in my class (which, by the way, is holding the rest of the 8th grade up from leveling classes, leaving some classes still with 40+ students. Not really my fault, but add that hanging over my head).

Despite the fact that when I walk out of school everyday, I secretly (or sometimes, not so secretly) hope it'll be the last time, I am fiercly protective of my students. I am not writing this so everyone that reads can say, "poor Allison has it so hard," or "not surprising, she probably teaches at an all black school, and you know those black kids don't know how to behave." No. Because it's not because they're poor and it's certainly not because they're black. It's because the system doesn't give a shit about them, and I think they really know it.

They didn't say it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it. I'm starting to think 'they' didn't have my students, but I sure do hope that they knew what they were talking about.

This is not the first day I envisioned.

Dear TFA,

your (what I now realize was) cushy TFA-run summer schools at institute did not prepare me for the madness that is Glen Oaks High School.

By the way, I start teaching tomorrow and...

a) East Baton Rouge school board still doesn't know I work for them; consequently I'm not in the system and have access to NOTHING

b) I have no idea how much students are in my class. Oh, but neither does the rest of the school so it's okay.

I could go on, but alas, I have an undetermined number of 8th graders coming to my room tomorrow expecting me to teach them something, so I should probably go finalize what that something is.

P.S. - I also assume the administration won't be standing outside with motivational/ pump-up music to cheer us on as we begin the first day of teaching, like they were this summer? Yeah, I guess not.

Colbert and Wendy Kopp Video

I just watched this video this morning after reading about its existence in a book called Relentless Pursuit. This book chronicles the first year of 4 '05 L.A. Corps Members, and was given to me by my wonderful Political Science adviser as a gift upon receiving the senior award for my major. I'll talk more about the book later, along with a post about the recent happenings in my newly employed life.

But, you should watch this video. Not just because I love Colbert (of course he only ranks second to Jon Stewart in my top social and political media-satirists) and either Colbert couldn't find too much for which to comically criticize Kopp or he's just gotten more harsh over the years, but watch it because Wendy Kopp is awesome.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

Note: This video is Stephen Colbert interviewing Teach for America founder, Wendy Kopp, in 2007. What I love about Kopp is that she's not your typical charismatic leader of a social revolution. She, in fact, is not a huge fan of public appearances and would much rather do all the behind the scenes work and let her organization get all the credit. No, she never taught in the classroom, but she literally was the sole individual who thought up the idea for TFA (as a college senior!). And I believe her unimposing character and total dedication to the mission absolves her of any criticism for never having taught in the classroom.

Back in Louisiana

So I've actually been back here for a week now, and done with institute for a week and a day, but haven't been in a particularly reflective mood to do any blogging. It's Saturday night, I kinda bailed on my plans, so I guess now is as good of a time as any to be reflective.

I cannot believe that only one week ago I had just gotten back from what everyone keeps saying is going to be one of the most rigorous things we'll ever do in TFA. All I can think is "eh, yeah it wasn't that bad." Of course I'm saying that with total and complete hindsight and there were so many days where I went out to get something for dinner and I thought to myself, "how easy would it be to just keep going on 61-North until I am far away, anywhere but this god-forsaken region. Or the days where I thought of more life-threatening and strange excuses why I couldn't get out of bed in the morning than I ever came up with in college to get out of going to class. But even without the hindsight, I hope that institute isn't one of the hardest things I'll have to do in my teaching career. Yes, it was challenging. Probably the most challenging thing I've ever done before, but it was a different sort of challenging; a very non-autonomous challenging.

Enough about institute though because I still kind of feel like it was a very long dream, and it didn't really happen. Also, I could probably talk all night about how all my students did not meet their end of summer goals (although some of them did, and about half didn't show up for the last week so potentially a lot more could have) and how much of a strong personal responsibility I feel about that, but I'm already feeling bad enough about bailing on my plans tonight - I don't need the weight of 16 fourth graders' futures hanging over my shoulders too.

Still no job on that front, but really please, stop worrying about me. I'm going to get a job. There's still two weeks until school starts and although that does not seem like a lot of time, it's a pretty big span of time in the TFA hiring world (or at least, so I've been told). But really, I'm fine. However, check back with me at the end of next week, and I might have developed somewhat of an increased frustrations and bitterness towards this all. At this point though, I'm just living the life down here. Well not really because I would love to be planning for the year, but there's no use stressing about something I have no control over.

I just finished up Round Zero, TFA orientation, whatever you want to call it. I call it hopefully the last time I have to sit in sessions all day for many consecutive days. Today we had our all-corps meeting with the 2010 CMs. It was pretty cool to have everyone together - this is the first time we've done that since getting to SLA. I'm excited to be part of this awesome corps and really start the year off!

The downside of institute

I am tired of living in a dorm and of eating (or not eating) dining hall food that I fairly consider the worst food I have eaten in my life. On that note, I am tired of not eating one full meal a day because a) I don't have to money to eat out every night and b) I am beyond being able to eat the food at the dining hall.

I am tired of staying up late, getting minimal sleep, preparing for school the next day, to have my students whine all morning about how tired they are and how they can't possibly stay awake during class. I'm up there teaching with less sleep than you. Believe me, you can do it.

I am tired of interview upon interview, of positive feedback, but no job.

I am tired of a perpetually messy classroom. Partly from students using the floor as their own personal organizer, but mainly from collab members using the ENTIRE ROOM as their own personal file cabinet. With no organizational system at all, might I add. It's no surprise students can't keep their papers organized with such a exemplar method of organization around them.

I am just tired. Of so many things. And now, I will return to my endless night of lesson planning, for my students. The reason I am so tired, but the reason I am here.

Ms. Gauthier, I'm gonna use it all over myself.

Oh, my students and the things that they say. The best excuses usually come when they want to go to the bathroom, which they know very well they can't use but after breakfast and at lunch. Yet somehow their bladder manages to get to a bursting point in the middle of class, which always amazes me because they don't drink anything between breakfast and lunch. It's most definitely the biggest obstacle to classroom management, after pencil sharpening, that is.

I cannot believe I'm halfway done with teaching summer school. So much of my feelings are excited, but I cannot help feeling overwhelmed that I have less than two weeks to move my students an amazing distance to be ready for fourth grade - some of my students are finally just getting good at subtraction, but they still need to multiply and divide to be on grade level.

I did have a slight break through with one of my students this week. Shantrecia is probably the furthest behind at everything, except for oral reading fluency. I'm not entirely sure how she got above grade level on that and still is missing essential K-2 skills. Like subtraction , for instance. Most of my students still count of their fingers, but at least they're counting on their fingers correctly. Shantrecia uses her fingers, but I'm not really sure what she's doing when she does because she still doesn't get the problem right. My FA has taken over working with her in our morning AIH time and made her subtraction flashcards that she never wants to put down anymore. Even though she's so behind, I think she responds well to having these flashcards because no one else gets them. Reading is what is presenting the biggest challenge, however. Give her a passage to read, and she can bust it out with expression, no mistakes, and quite quickly. However, ask her to tell you anything about what she just read, and I get blank stares. Nothing. I will give her the answer and then ask her the question again, and still nothing. She's a bright girl, and very well behaved, so she's not being defiant. My CMA suggested that I give her a specific question written on a post-it note to think about while we're reading, with the understanding that I'll be asking her that question when we conclude reading. I did that on Wednesday - I gave her the question "what is one main idea from the story we read today?" I explained to her what I wanted to hear with the question, and went over what a main idea is. And you know what, when we finished, I asked her that question and after one answer that wasn't quite on point, she gave another that was entirely correct! I almost jumped out of my seat because this is the first time that I have seen her comprehend anything she's read. You could tell she was pretty excited that she got this answer right. I kept referencing her answer through the read of AIH time (so let's remember the main idea that Shantrecia told us early; so how does that connect with the main idea Shantrecia told us earlier?) and the rest of the day I could really see an improvement in her confidence level. Of course, being the naive new teacher I am, I figured I had cracked her code and this post-it note method was the answer to all her comprehension problems. Not quite so. I tried this method again on Thursday, this time with a harder question - "what was the problem of the story we read today?" and I got blank stares again, even when I told her the answer, she still couldn't give it back to me. However, when I gave her sticky note at the beginning she was really excited and told me, "oh yes, my question!" I think I might have just gotten ahead of myself by pushing her to try to identify the problem of the story before she really had a grasp on the main idea. I'm going to stick with the main idea next week until I'm sure she has a grasp on it. Her confidence, though, has improved drastically since I started trying new methods of helping her to learn. Even when she's completely lost in class, she quietly works with the boy who sits next to her to understand it, then when it's independent work, she calls me over to help her. Her grades on the end of lesson assessments have gotten drastically better over the past week. Shantrecia still has a long way to go, but she's come so far in less than two weeks, I cannot wait to see where she is at the end.

We have the 4th of July off, so this is an exciting long weekend here in Cleveland. My roommate and I went to Memphis for the day yesterday just to get out of here. It's only two hours away and we needed to see real stores and have something to do that's non-TFA related. It was quite a success, and a great break. We spent a few hours at the Civil Rights Museum and the site of MLK's assassination. The majority of our day was spent at the mall, just so we could be in a mall again. I barely even bought anything, but having the opportunity to was quite wonderful. I was able to purchase a clipboard, which was probably the most exciting part of the day. I've been trying to get one since I got here (I really wasn't aware how much more effective your teaching can be with a simple piece of wood and metal clip) but Wal-Mart was sold out within hours of TFA descending on Cleveland and there is not a single other place in Cleveland that sells clipboards (yes, we asked). Oh, and the next closest place that sells them? A teacher supplies story an hour away. All I have to say is good luck to the TFA teachers placed in this area!

Tonight the whole town of Cleveland is throwing us a 4th of July party, complete with fireworks and flesh-eating mosquitoes. It seriously amazes me how much of a big deal it is to them that we're here for the summer. Our welcome party was a ton of fun, so I'm really looking forward to tonight.

TFA = totally free afternoon

TODAY IS THE HALFWAY MARK FOR INSTITUTE!

We were supposed to have sessions until 4:30 today, but after the students' dismissal, we went to session and they told us that there was a party waiting for us back on campus to celebrate us finishing half of institute so we got to go home! What a treat! I have to start teaching reading next week, and those lesson plans start tonight, so I am so happy I get this extra time to work ahead!

Before we left go back, we watched this really inspiring video I think everyone should watch. Believe me, it's worth your time.

A few highs, and one low

Some fantastic things about yesterday and today:

+ SLA IS HERE. I love my regional staff and it feels like some sort of family week at summer camp with them coming to visit us this week. It's just wonderful to see familiar faces on campus and in my school.

+ I GOT MY PACKAGE. It was only two weeks late and the packaging was a bit worse for the wear, but it was worth the wait. And I guess now I only have half of institute left, so I think it'll keep me going.

+My students all passed their end of lesson assessment today! This is the first time this has happened in my class all of institute. Not only are my students learning, I think they're starting to make the connection that when they act right, they can learn, and when they don't act right, they don't learn. Let's at least hope they're making that connection. We'll see tomorrow. Maintaining high expectations, though, I know they can do it!

+Happy 25th anniversary to my parents! The big 2-5, as my mom said, they've gone 25 years without killing each other :P

- It's 9:30 and I'm not yet half way done with my lesson plan for tomorrow. However, I guess on the plus side, this is the only night thus far I've not been hyper-productive since the moment I step off that bus. And I still think I'm going to be in bed before at least of the CMs here at institute.

Tomorrow's the half way mark! I cannot even believe it!!

It's been one hell of a week

My first week of teaching is complete! Oh my goodness, I don't even know where to begin. It went by fast, but Monday seems so long ago. I guess I'll just start there.

Monday was a little rough. Mostly because I had no idea what to expect. They keep telling us to remember what is was like for us to be in the grade we are teaching, but honestly, can you remember anything about the summer between 3rd and 4th grade? I was probably chilling by the Old Mill pool, living the dream of a 9 year old. I only taught during the first hour of the day on Monday, and that was only rules and procedures of the class. We gave a math assessment during their normal math block later in the day. My class average? a 26%. Pretty daunting knowing that is what you have to work with for the summer. Some of my students have trouble with basic subtraction, let alone subtraction with regrouping. I know I don't remember much from elementary school, but I know I could do 4 digit subtracting by 3rd grade.

Tuesday I taught my first real math lesson. I tanked. And tanked big time. Trying to manage a class of 17 9-10 year olds, after lunch, at the end of the day, while trying to teach them how to write the inverse of an equation? It was not working. I felt like I was giving out warnings and consequences left and right, but I could only go so far because otherwise half the class would have been in the focus corner. I left school holding back tears and feeling pretty low about my abilities to teach these kids anything. I got together that night with another girl in the SLA corps, teaching the same grade level and same math block as me, who had had a similar first lesson experience. We tore through our lesson plan for the next day and came up with some really good ideas.

My lesson plan for Wednesday, needless to say, went worlds better. I could confidently say about half the class mastered the objective of writing an equality problem using pictures. And the half that didn't were still just making simple and identifiable mistakes on their end of lesson assessment that could easily be fixed. Feeling pretty good about my abilities as a teacher leaving the classroom Wednesday, TFA had other ideas about my confidence level. I felt like Wednesday was by far the most stressful day of the week. In our sessions after school, I felt like we were dumped with an entire load of things they wanted us to do for Thursday: two more lesson plan rough drafts (it takes about 1-2 hours for me to write a lesson plan), to make the calendar for the rest of the summer for all the lesson objectives we're teaching in math, and to separate our class into math skill level groups and reading skill level groups and to come up with mini-lesson plans for our academic intervention hour (AIH - the hour we have in the morning for learning support for our students). This is not to mention that we still had a lesson plan to finalize for Thursday, I was supposed to meet with my CMA (corps member advisor) for 1/2 hour, and have a 2 hour special ed learning session that evening. I was at the point of breaking. I got back to campus and just unwound for about 1/2 hour, talking everything through with my best friend (who by the way, I think is the only thing that keeps me sane here most of the time). After I got off the phone, I had a text from my CMA asking if I would like to reschedule because of how overwhelming that night was going to be. It's like she read my mind. Also, when I got to my SPED session, the person in charge informed us that it was not mandatory and the only thing we would be going over that night was an introduction to SPED and the types of things we would probably encounter as SPED teachers. Basically, everything SLA talked to us about at induction. She told us to leave if we were too overwhelmed with other things, and I high-tailed it out of there. I came back, met up with Ericka, who I had worked with the night before on lesson plans, and we got our lesson plan finalized for the next day. It was still my second latest night that week, but I can only imagine how much later it would have been if I hadn't have had all that extra time free up (and just for reference, when I say late I'm talking around 11:00-11:30 bed time).

Thursday was tough to get through because of the lack of sleep, but AIH went well and I really began to understand the importance that this session is going to have for my students this summer. I'm working with the 'low' group for math and it's really allowing me to see the points that learning is breaking down for these students. Like I said, I have students that have a hard time with basic subtraction, and it was in this session that I figured that out. Without it, I would have never been able to accommodate Shantrecia in math class that day. Because I knew she was still drawing pictures to figure out subtraction, she wasn't going to grasp the concept of 4-digit subtraction with regrouping. I was able to spend extra time during independent work time just taking the problem slowly and repeating the steps over and over again. I know she still hasn't mastered it, but I now know what she needs in order to master it. I also got some great feedback from my FA (faculty adviser) on my lesson. She made me feel so confident in my teaching. She told me it was a pleasure to be in my class watching me teach, and she could really tell the students were engaged in what I was teaching because they could see and respond to my excitement.

Friday seemed to take so long to get here. I know it was only yesterday, but it seems like it was weeks ago. Coming in on Friday, our collab (collaborative teaching team) was named collab of the week! It was pretty exciting. I don't really know why because there are so many times we don't have our shit together at all, but I think it was good for us. It gave us more confidence and allowed us to come together as a team a bit more. Although, I experienced another tanked lesson, but this time it wasn't due to my students' misbehavior, but to my inability to explain rounding to a place value correctly. (Thank goodness for that AIH time!).

I am really enjoying this experience though. Just getting to know my students makes me so excited to have a class of my own this fall. I'm really getting to know the ins and outs of my students. Like I know Melvin loves Math. He's one of my biggest behavior problems, but I know just what to say to encourage him to act right. I rarely discipline him because I just have to positively reinforce his good behavior a few times, and he's respectful, participatory, and kind the rest of class. However much he loves math, he's on a second grade reading level and hardly ever does well on his assessments because he doesn't know what the problem is asking him. So I'm learning just the right way to help him read the question without having him admit he doesn't know what it says. He's constantly look over at me during the math block before mine for recognition that he's doing what he's supposed to. I just need to get him to translate this into not just doing well to please me, but because he understands that learning, in all subjects, is essential to his success.

I'm thinking about maybe trying to feature a new student a few times a week on here, just to give a peek into my classroom and what my students are like. Every day is so interesting with them, and the things they say and do. They surprise me with something new and wonderful every day. Like one student, Cameron. He's in my mid-level reading group for AIH. I administered the reading test for him at the beginning of summer school, and nothing really stuck out to me. But we were talking about making predictions and inferences, especially focusing on using pictures, during AIH on Friday. He turns to me at the end of the hour and says, "Ms. Gauthier, it's cool that this is based on a real story." I asked him, "how do you know that Cameron?" and he replied, "On the front cover of this book, they have a real picture of an event from this story next to the drawing." I was blown away because I didn't even pick up on that, and here's a 4th grader, about a grade level behind in reading, and he just got that on his own.

One week down already!

I have learned two things today: one, living in Cleveland, Mississippi is in fact worse than living in Loretto. Cleveland makes Ebensburg look like a wealth of resources (and for those that I went to school with, yes, it really is that bad). I went to Wal-Mart with my roommate today looking for a few specific items: make-up, make-up sponges, a black blazer, and a wide black belt. I came out of the store with a 6-pack of blue moon and the make-up sponges. My roommate bought two bags of trail mix so we wouldn’t look so pathetic. I don’t know where people work here in the summer, but it’s obviously not in a professional environment because even when we tried the random clothing stores we came across, no blazers suitable for teaching children were to be found. We also decided to “explore” Cleveland after our unsuccessful shopping excursion. Well if you go past the Wal-Mart, there’s a pizza place… No, really, that’s it. Oh, and the super sketch-looking roller skating rink. At least in Loretto, the landscape made up for the lack of anything but my university, but here it’s just nothingness for miles. I guess I don’t feel so bad anymore that I won’t really have much of a chance of spending time in the town this summer.

Second thing I learned today, no matter how short of a distance I am walking outside, wear bug spray! OK, I don’t know how many times the 2010 SLA CMs told us this, but for some reason the mosquitoes were put on standby the first week, allowing us to think previous CMs had simply overreacted to the severity of mosquitoes here, and when we finally decided it was safe to stop wearing copious amounts of bug spray, BAM, they strike. All I know is that when I left for dinner this evening, my feet did not resemble a small mountain range, and now they do.

As for the rest of my first week – well I’m hoping it’s downhill from here. Which, actually I think it will be, or at least I keep telling myself it will for the sake of my sanity. It’s not that it’s hard, it’s just I’m so busy. And not like college-ah-I’m-so-busy-but-I-really-could-make-time-if-I-cut-out-Facebook busy, but legit, I come back from school and have about 3-4 hours of work time, all of which I desperately need, before I crawl into bed at 10 p.m., because once again, I have to wake up at 4:30. The middle of the week, we started to learn about lesson planning, and consequently started cranking out lessons like little TFA-driven lesson planning machines. I’m actually pretty excited to teach elementary math (who knew – but I am still desperately praying I get a job teaching English) – it’s pretty easy to break down and I actually know how to do these problems.

On Friday, we got to meet our students! It was such an exciting day. It felt like we had been working up to this moment for so long, yet it had only been four days. We only administered a Diagnostic Reading Assessment to the students’ on Friday, so we weren’t actually teaching a lesson, but it was pretty cool to get to interact with my students before I have to go into “super teacher mode.” All my students that I tested are on at least a 3^rd grade reading level, and they will be entering 4^th grade in the fall (I don’t think any of my students have been retained – they are in summer school because they either just barely passed and need more instruction time to catch up, or they’re just want learning enrichment). One of our students even tested on a 5^th grade reading level! My class overall seems like a great group of kids and I’m so excited to teach them (check back in with me at the end of next week, and I’ll let you know if I’m still feeling the same).

While everyone else was busy celebrating their livers out Friday night, I was closed up in my room studying for my last two praxis exams (did I mention I had to take 4!?) that were yesterday morning. They were for high school English, so I was very familiar with most of the content. I was able to take some time out Friday night to go to a catfish fry Delta State held for us. I was surprised at how many people were just so unsure of how to perceive the eating of catfish and hush puppies. I guess I shouldn’t have assumed that all families in the country just grew up eating fried catfish and hush puppies like I did. It was certainly strange to see the culture shock some people were going through. I am extremely exhausted tonight and most of me just wants to crawl into bed and curl up with non-TFA reading material. As Ian put it, “welcome to the life of a teacher.” Hey, if that’s what teachers get to do on Saturday nights, I have a feeling I’m going to love this teacher thing.

My time as a corps member thus far

Greetings from the middle of nowhere, Mississippi! No, actually it's not that bad. When they told us the next five weeks would be spent in a "really really small town" I was picturing the Loretto of Mississippi. This town has a population of about 12,000 and a Wal-Mart! Yeah, after spending the past four years in a town of 1,000 with the nearest Wal-mart 15 miles away, this is not small.

But let me back track... my official Teach For America experience started last week in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. The 2011 SLA (South Louisiana - get used to the acronyms because TFA cannot stop using them) corps started Induction last Monday night. It was just a week of attending sessions at the hotel we stayed at, on various introductions to aspects of TFA. We had a huge hiring fair on Wednesday, and despite the 5 interviews I had before that day and the 4 interviews I had that day, I still don't have a job. However, current corps members insist that I should not worry because most people don't get hired until at least institute. Most of the corps did get hired though, so that just leaves more jobs open to me! I met some great people and met lots of current and alumni corps members that gave some great advice and the next two years. I know I'm going to love living in SLA no matter where I get a job.

Saturday I spent all day taking the Praxis exams and then Sunday I was off to Mississippi for Institute. Basically institute is TFA cramming all the information of a 4-year education degree into 5 weeks of training. I'm learning some wonderful things such as apparently the achievement gap is one of those problems that can only be solved in the early hours of the morning. 4:30 a.m. Yes, that is the time I wake up every morning. And the time I get back to the university campus we're housed in? 6:00 pm. Oh, except for what I have officially deemed at the best day of the week: no, not Friday, but Tuesday. We come back to campus at 2:00 and then just have one more session on teaching literacy until 4:00 and are free the rest of the day. It's like heaven.

All this week we're just in sessions all day learning how to be "highly effective teachers." Starting Friday, we'll be teaching summer school for the next month. I'll be teaching incoming 4th graders math and reading, alternating week to week. Yes, so after 4 days of preparation somehow we're qualified to have a class of our very own. Sometimes I wonder if the parents of these students know that their children's teachers will have had all of 4 days of training to teach their child. I'm sure it's better that they don't know.

I know this has been a very disjointed first post, but I just wanted to get something written down so I could at least get into the swing of writing a blog again. I've been motivated by all this talk of setting big goals and working relentlessly to achieve them. I'll try to update this frequently with actually coherent information on the happenings of institute and into the next two years!