The downside of institute

I am tired of living in a dorm and of eating (or not eating) dining hall food that I fairly consider the worst food I have eaten in my life. On that note, I am tired of not eating one full meal a day because a) I don't have to money to eat out every night and b) I am beyond being able to eat the food at the dining hall.

I am tired of staying up late, getting minimal sleep, preparing for school the next day, to have my students whine all morning about how tired they are and how they can't possibly stay awake during class. I'm up there teaching with less sleep than you. Believe me, you can do it.

I am tired of interview upon interview, of positive feedback, but no job.

I am tired of a perpetually messy classroom. Partly from students using the floor as their own personal organizer, but mainly from collab members using the ENTIRE ROOM as their own personal file cabinet. With no organizational system at all, might I add. It's no surprise students can't keep their papers organized with such a exemplar method of organization around them.

I am just tired. Of so many things. And now, I will return to my endless night of lesson planning, for my students. The reason I am so tired, but the reason I am here.